Take A Risk
by only here in your arms
Summary: A follow up to "Not So Casual", Jake is more than sure that he wants something more than casual with Clare but he fears that she doesn't feel the same. - Should've Said No pt. 2 in Jake's POV


**A follow up to my other Cake one shot, "Not So Casual". I decided that I'd continue just because I really like how subtle Jake's change of opinion on their casual situation was.**

**Again, I'm shipping Cake but I'm still shipping Eclare.**

**Enjoy. Thanks for reading and please review!**

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><p>After school I called Katie while I drove home. I lied to her using Clare's suggestion and Katie seemed like she wasn't disappointed. But I could tell she was faking. I didn't want to hurt her but I just really wanted to spend time with Clare. I didn't realize how much until only recently, but after I agreed to go to movie night with Katie. Katie's cute though, seems very headstrong, and I don't even know if that profile on new students is true. Maybe it was just a ploy to talk to me. Either way, she was nice and I didn't want to hurt her. But Clare was worth it.<p>

When I got home, I saw that my dad had left a note for me saying he'd be out for the night. This was happening a lot lately and truthfully I'm shocked at how quickly he met someone. We've only been in Toronto for a few weeks and here he was, already spending tons of time out. But I guess if he's happy then I shouldn't complain about it.

I quickly made myself a sandwich and watched some TV before I got ready to go to Clare's house. Usually I wouldn't really do so much preparation just to hang out with a girl but for some reason I took my second shower of the day, made sure my hair looked nice, and even sprayed some cologne on myself. I don't even know if Clare liked the scent but the bottle was there and it seemed like a good idea.

I got into my truck earlier than planned, probably because I'm so anxious and excited to meet up with Clare. Never has a girl had this effect on me and I feel a little ridiculous that I'm this excited to see a girl. Pretty sure the casual ship has sailed but I don't want to freak Clare out by telling her that I want to be more. Maybe I'll just stay with the casual thing until, hopefully, Clare is okay with us being together. Act like I'm also into the casual thing just for her. Then maybe she'll see that she'll want more than casual.

I knocked on the first door and saw that it was unlocked and knocked on the second door. I checked again, it was also unlocked. They should really learn how to lock their doors. I peeked inside and saw Clare standing by the desk in her living room and I smiled.

"Hey," I say softly, hoping Helen wouldn't hear me if she was upstairs.

"Hi," she replies and I notice that she's not so excited to see me.

"Mind if I come in?" I ask, gesturing in, trying to make light of whatever the situation was.

She steps closer to me with a worried face. "This was supposed to be casual, right?"

I get worried, thinking that she somehow caught on my actions. "Yeah," I say nervously, moving awkwardly on my feet. "Yeah I guess." It's hard to say though. I want more than casual and I have to act like I don't.

"Then maybe you should call Katie," Clare says and my heart drops. "See if she's still free tonight."

"Why would I do that?" I say, trying to be cool. But I'm in disbelief. Did she really want me out with another girl?

"Cause this doesn't feel casual anymore." She steps to the door, wanting me out, and I notice that her eyes are damp. Was she crying? Did she not want me around anymore? What did I do wrong? Her face is determined and hurt and I step out of the house and I hear her shut the door behind me.

I retrace my actions of the day, trying to see if I did something wrong. Did she hear that I had a small confrontation with Eli at lunch? Maybe she did and she thought that that was not casual. I sit in my truck for a few minutes and finally dial Katie's number.

She's happy to hear that I've changed my mind and she tells me that she's excited. I fake my excitement and tell her that I'm really looking forward to it. I drive around a little bit before picking her up and I continue to think about Clare.

She just really wanted casual. She didn't want more with me. I guess that's what I get for suggesting that I wanted to stay casual. But why was did she look so hurt?

I picked up Katie and we went to Degrassi, quickly getting seated in her place of choice. She had brought a plaid blanket with her, saying that she'd seen me wearing a lot of plaid and thought I'd like it. I did. She was talking about newspaper when I saw Clare walking past us, talking to Alli, and I was no longer paying attention to Katie.

Clare was talking to this curly haired guy, headphones around his neck. That's stupid, he wasn't listening to music so why did he keep his headphones on him? Plus, it's movie night, I doubt he'd have a need to have his headphones on him. I didn't realize I was watching her until she looked back at me. I glanced up at some guy walking past me and I look back at her, she looks a little uncomfortable, and I look away.

I didn't realize it would've been this hard to see Clare with another guy. I also didn't think she would. Casual meant no strings attached and I realize that I'm also kind of showing off a different girl, but it still hurt to see her with someone else.

Eventually the movie started and I question who it was that picked this movie. Zombies? Really gory too. From the start it was bloody and gross and I laughed a bit seeing Katie wincing at the amount of blood.

"Not your thing?" I whisper.

"Not really," she replies.

I hesitantly wrap my arm around her shoulders and she leans in to me smiling. If Clare wants to keep it casual then I'll do the same.

We watch the movie, listening to all of the high pitched screams going on and I have yet to see a plot brewing in the movie. From the corner of my eye I see Clare walking out of the theater, that guy following him, and I watch them leave.

"Are you and Clare close?" Katie asks me and I hesitate to answer. "You said that your parents were friends but you never said if you and Clare were good friends or anything."

"Uh," I stutter. "Well, she was the first person I talked to when I got here and she's been showing me around so yeah…I guess we're close."

I try to enjoy the movie and focus on Katie, who shares a few comments on the movie as it goes on, but I really can't stop thinking about Clare. Why did she storm off? Is she with that guy? What are they doing? I doubt Clare is off making out with him or anything, she isn't like that, but why did they leave?

As politely as possible, I excuse myself from Katie and head out of the theater. I see Clare and that guy at the bench in front and I sigh, putting my hands in my pockets, and walk down the stairs.

"What you have now seems a lot better," I hear the guy say sarcastically. "If you don't mind, I'm gonna go in and catch the rest of the movie." He heads back in but not before saying something to me. "Watch her man, she's…frisky."

I raise a brow and snicker a little bit and approach Clare who looks up at me with a sad face. "Can we take a walk?" she asks.

How could I say no? "Sure."

We walk around the deserted Degrassi a little bit and we're not saying anything. She takes my arm and walks me over into the cafeteria and we sit on the steps. We still haven't said anything and the silence is killing me.

"So?" I ask her.

She sighs before she speaks. "I found my parents' divorce papers…before you came over." Oh. _Oh_. Ouch. That must've been tough to read. "My dad cheated on my mom…more than once."

I never realized nor thought that that's how their divorce would've happened, or this was what Clare went through before I came over today. Wow, I'm really selfish to think that it was all me. Didn't realize that something bad could've happened to her.

"We both know where this is headed," she continues. "We go out for a couple weeks, maybe months—"

"We have fun," I remind her.

"And then, one of us changes our minds. Decides we're not into it anymore…and we break up. Then every time we see each other it's uncomfortable. Maybe we should just stay friends."

Friends. Can't be friends. I didn't think I'd like her as much as I do, but I do. "I don't think that's going to work," I confess, not looking her in the eye. That was it. She was the first in a long time to convince me that relationships were worth it.

"Then what do we do?" she asks.

"Well…we could always try avoiding each other," I joke lightly. She knows I'm joking. At least, I hope she does.

She looks at me with hopeful eyes. "Or we could take a risk."

I lean in to kiss her happily. She wanted it too. We were no longer casual. We are now risk takers, taking risks with our hearts and having our feelings triumph over things in our path. She was worth the risk.


End file.
